What’s the Difference Between Shame and Guilt and Why Does It Matter?
It’s common to use shame and guilt interchangeably, but they’re actually quite different and understanding that difference can help you be gentler with yourself.
Guilt shows up when you feel bad about something you did. Maybe you snapped at someone you care about or forgot an important task. Guilt says, “I made a mistake.” And while it’s uncomfortable, guilt can be a helpful signal that nudges you toward repair or change.
Shame, on the other hand, goes deeper. It says, “I am the mistake.” Instead of focusing on an action, shame targets your sense of self. It can leave you feeling stuck, unworthy, or like you’re fundamentally flawed and that’s a much heavier burden to carry.
If you notice that your inner voice tends to spiral from guilt into shame, you’re not alone. Many of us weren’t taught how to separate the two. But learning to recognize the difference can open the door to more self-compassion, more growth, and a deeper sense of connection with others.
You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. Mistakes happen. What matters most is how we respond: with honesty, care, and a little grace for ourselves along the way.
If you’re struggling with feelings of shame or guilt and want support untangling them, therapy can be a powerful place to start. You don’t have to sort through it all alone. Reach out today to begin building a kinder, more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Virtual counseling sessions are available in Illinois, Ohio, New York, Kentucky, South Carolina, and Florida.
**The content on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, or medical advice. While I strive to provide valuable insights and resources, the information shared here should not be used as a stand-alone solution for mental health concerns or personal challenges.
If you are experiencing significant emotional distress or mental health issues, please seek the guidance of a licensed therapist or healthcare professional. If you are in crisis, please contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.
Your well-being matters, and professional support can make a meaningful difference.**
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